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August 21st, 2003

How To Annoy Me While Driving #4 - Try to Kill Me. Twice.

This technique was admirably demonstrated by Mr Red Golf Man on the M27 today. It was just past 6pm and still quite busy, so all three lanes were in use. I’m in lane 3 passing some cars passing a lorry when Mr Red Golf Man pulls up behind me, getting a bit too close for comfort. I would go faster but there’s a car in front so I can’t. I sit there.

I’m coming up to my turn-off, so I’m thinking of making my way over to lane 1, looking for gaps in lane 2. As I reach such a gap, I signal left, check my blind spot, and start to move over. But what’s this - Mr Red Golf Man is trying to pass me on the inside. I’m half way through changing lanes and he’s still coming towards me. Somehow we miss each other and now we’re both in lane 2, and he’s right up my exhaust pipe. I flash my brake lights at him to ask him to drop back a bit, and all he does is flash his headlights at me.

I start signalling left as there is a gap approaching that will let me into lane 1 just before my turn-off. I wait until I’m about three car lengths into the gap before pulling into it. But what’s this? Mr Red Golf Man is passing me on the inside again! While I’m signalling left! Again! I honk and shake my fist at him, but he sails past, and turns off. I just manage to make the turn-off myself.

So I have two peices of advice for Mr Red Golf Man: 1) Don’t tailgate people, especially in busy traffic. 2) Don’t pass people on the inside, especially when they’re signalling left. They get nervous about it.

Posted by Rob Fisher as Driving at 10:24 PM EDT

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TV License Update 2

The Present Occupier’s address is on TV Licensing Enforcement Extraordinaire John Thompson’s, “priority list” according to a new letter he has received. “We are planning to take further action,” the letter brays. “Our records show that despite our previous correspondence, there is still no License for this address.”

Funny that, considering there is no TV at this address. An enforcement “Officer” is planning to visit The Present Occupier shortly.

Watch this space for updates, but don’t hold your breath on an enforcement employee actually appearing. Similar threats have been made in the past, but they have so far been just threats.

Posted by Rob Fisher as Authorised Theft, TV Licensing at 2:20 PM EDT

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